The Crazy Wii Dad

There's nothing like a high stakes tournament to bring out the CRAZY in CSPs. And last week's Washington League Placement Tournament in Pasco, Washington was no exception. My favorite is a man I will call Crazy Wii Dad.

I first noticed CWD while standing off to the side of a game, chatting with a fellow team parent, while waiting for the coaches to arrive prior to our team's warm-up. An older girl's game was going on 30 feet away from us. I hadn't paid too much attention to the game, other than to note the clubs involved.

That changed, however, as my conversation with my fellow parent was disrupted by the sounds, nay, call them shrieks - of a male on the sideline:

C'mon, ref! Blow the whistle. She's all over her back. Geezuz!

I look over and girls are getting themselves up from the sort of
collision that often occurs throughout soccer games. He then repeated the accusation, as both clarification and statement of how his team was being victimized.

Geez. Come on, ref. She was all over her back!! You gotta blow that whistle.

This was yelled so loud, the ref looked over at the man, shook his head 'no' and went back to the game.

As soon as the game re-started, the man starts yelling again. My fellow soccer parent and I are transfixed by this CSP.

"Come on!" - this appears to be his favorite phrases. "Let's go, girls." "Yeah!"

He screams out something with every move, every dribble, every tackle. But he's not yelling this as you or I might yell encouragement at a soccer
game. He's screaming with feverish intensity, as if the outcome of the
match depends on the volume and conviction of his voice. There is a distinct Lord of the Flies sound to his voice, as if he is just one goal or one bad call away from descending into violent, tribalistic behavior.

He is dressed in khaki shorts and a polo shirt. A baseball cap obscures his gray hair and he has a full, gray beard. He is in his 50s I'd estimate and moderate build, with the sort of suggestion of modest fitness golfers often have.


As I watch him scream, he moves his body along with the game, as if he is playing a Wii version of the match that's taking place on the field, controlling player movements and kicks with his body. On a shot toward goal, he makes a flaccid little half kick, that from where I'm standing, looks absolutely ridiculous. This comes with another, "Yeah!! That's it!"

The team fails to score, though, and as the play moved back toward his area of the field, he backpedals, then he does a little move that I've never seen before, and attacks, screaming all the while.

I find myself watching this crazed dad instead of the game. It is both amusing and pathetic at the same time.

I wonder who is this guy? What does he do for a living? Does he act like a jackass in other phases of his life? At work? At PTA meetings?

I don't ask myself whether he's ever played soccer. It's clear he hasn't. It's also clear that everyone else associated with his daughter's team has adjusted to him and his antics. He is alone on the sideline. Coaches, players, other parents, there is no one within 20 yards of him.