Fairweather Parents

So, my DD has been out of action most of the season due to injury. She comes back (after a month of hard work on her part in physical therapy, and attending most of the training sessions, even though she couldn't participate). The coaches insert her in the game with about 10 minutes left in the first half and guess what, she's slow, she's not in a rhythm, she is playing tentatively.

So, the group of negative CSPs from our sideline start groaning and yelling things like, "forwards have to run to the ball," and "challenge for the ball." The talk gets specific enough that I decide to leave the stands and find a neutral site to sit at. It's either that or create a scene in the stands.

Consequently, I don't hear anything else for the rest of the game (and am happy about that!). In the 2nd half as my daughter (and her teammates) find their way into the game and establish a rhythm, my daughter makes a great run through the middle, and in trying to get a shot off collides with a defender and the keeper, going down in a heap, but managing to pass the ball off for an assist on the tying goal. She then gets a few more good opportunities before nailing the winning goal. All in all, a good game for her first game in over two months.

And the critical CSPs? They cheer her, of course. Now, it's "great game!" and slaps on the back. What a bunch of hypocrites. And this isn't lost on the players. They know they've got a bunch of parents who back them completely when things are going good, but will throw them under the bus when they're struggling.

Frustrating Sidelines

I typically don't post about my own sidelines for obvious reasons, but yesterday's game was terrifically frustrating. we're new on the team and I don't know many parents. I started out sitting in the stands next to a guy I know, and like; a reasonable soccer dad such as myself.

As the game started, our team was not playing well. Girls were standing too much, not challenging for possession, not supporting other players. We made a team from a lower division look like the state champions in the first half. Eventually, they scored on us and it was 1-0 halftime.

But, boy, did some of the parents let the team know what time it was! 10 or so minutes in and several of the parents were yelling, "You gotta run for it." "You gotta challenge the ball" "Come on forwards, get into the game!" All manner of helpful instruction was offered and in that CSP tone of voice that tells players how much they're sucking on the field and destroying the entire history of the game with their play.

As the half went on, the supportive cheers dwindled and the harping and moaning increased. Fortunately, the ref was incompetent and inconsistent, so he drew some of the parents' ire away from their own daughters.

Now my daughter has been out injured for 2 months. She hasn't played a game for 2 months. The coaches put her into the game (as a forward) with 5 minutes in the half. This is obviously time for her to warm up, get into the flow of the game, and hopefully prepare to play a substantive role in the 2nd half. I doubt the coaches expected her to light the field up and shred defenders in those 5 minutes.

CSPs fortunately know better. "Come on! Challenge for the ball!" "Forwards have to run for it!", etc. At this point, I was tempted to ask the main cheerleader for his daughter's number so that I could provide positive commentary to her as well. Instead, I got up and went to the other side of the stadium to watch the game in isolation.

Here's what happened. The team came out renewed in the 2nd half and dominated. My daughter played well along with the other girls on the field. She assisted one goal and scored the winner. When the coach subbed her off, she got a warm round of applause, which both her and I thought was ironic, to say the least.

CSPs who get negative and vocal don't help the team play better. Probably the opposite, though I'm sure their daughters have largely tuned them out. These games are 80 minute dramas. Parents need to support the players throughout, provide encouragement and appreciation, not reveal their inner emotional needs to the world.

I won't make the mistake of sitting in the stands anymore.