Tryouts, Ins and Outs

Cutting kids because the parents are crazy?! Because the mom is hot?! Jeff Seidel at Detroit Free Press shines a light on the sleazy underbelly of youth sports tryouts.

Coach Blows Up! F Bombs Dropped

From the Just-When-I-Think-I've-Seen-It-All Department. My daughter's team was finishing the last 7 minutes of a game today at a tournament near Portland. They had just tied the game and both teams were gunning the engines, trying to get the game winner. The opponents got a string of shots from just outside our box. Each shot, one of our defenders leapt into the way to block said shot. On one of the blocks the ball hit her on the shoulder, as she was turning away from the ball to prevent possibly getting smacked in the face.

The opposing coach began yelling for a handling call, which being as it occurred in the box would've given their team a 2nd unjustly called shot from the dot (the first was saved by our keeper). While our team was turning the ball upfield, the ref whistled play dead and went over to the other coach (who I now realized was still yelling about the supposed handling call).

I was on the opposite sideline so I couldn't hear much of it - I got a report later on of what was said. All I could see was the ref gesturing to the coach to stop his protests. When he didn't the ref walked over to issue him a yellow card.

At this point, the coach told the ref to engage in an act with himself that would've required a lot of stretching. The ref pointed to the parking lot. The coach sat down in his chair and refused to leave. At this point, the ref whistled the game over and walked off the field.

The coach packed up his chair and began walking off the field, cussing up a blue streak as he went. All in all a nice display for the young folk. These are U16 girls, so I'm sure they're all familiar with profanity, but still not a great show of character from their 60+aged coach.

The game had about 4 minutes left to play when the ref pulled the plug and both teams were working hard to score. So, both groups of young ladies were penalized by the actions of this jerk. Too bad. Hopefully, someone in a role of responsibility will decide that this guy shouldn't be coaching.

Lace 'em Up, Crack-Boy!

Wow. 2 tournaments in 2 weekends and not much in the way of bad CSP behavior. The worst CSP spotting happened today. While waiting for my daughter's game, I was watching a team thrash another team. When the 6th goal was scored - by a girl who had hit a hat trick - a father in the stands yelled at the top of his lungs, in a deep "Ready to Rummmmmble" voice: "The Princess of Pow!"

It was one of the most embarrassing things I've heard a parent say on the sidelines.

We did get to experience one crazy soccer coach last weekend. After my daughter's team beat up on his team 9-0, in a tick-tacky game in which their keeper got red carded, the other team's coach challenged my daughter's coach to lace up his boots and play a one-on-one soccer game to see which coach knew more about soccer. Huh?? What crack are you smoking, son?

Here's a Class Act For You

So, our 13-year-old girls team is playing a team that's become something of a rival; not in a bad way, we just have very close games. Our team holds the edge right now and has won the last four. Their coach has always been something of a loudmouth. At the previous game, the ref actually required him to sit in a chair on the sidelines for the entire game.

We recently played another tight game with them; it ended a 0-0 draw. However, we come to find out, that at one point during the game, he started yelling at one of our players. She told him to shut up. He then proceeded to say demeaning things about her appearance. (I learned later that he was talking to several of our players during the game). Afterwards our coach confronted him and his defense was that the 13-year-old girl "started it."

Well done, coach. You are a class act.

Bottom 10 Sports Moments of 2007

It's been awhile since I've posted anything. The CSPs have been behaving themselves...or waiting for warmer weather to display their shenanigans. Anyhow, the Positive Coaching Alliance has released its Bottom 10/top 10 Sports Moments for 2007. Several of our CSPs and CSCs have made the list  (The bottom list, that is).

Let's resolve to do better in 2008, parents.

Moon River...

We haven't had a good Ol' Fashioned Crazy Soccer Coach posting in awhile. This one really ices the cake, you might even say, shoots the moon. Those poor girls are going to need counseling to get the image out of their mind.

Time Out for Coachy

My daughter's soccer team plays another team that has developed into a quasi-rival over the past 2 seasons. Both teams are good, competitive teams and the games are often very, very close. The coach for the other team, however, is a bit of a jerk. Hey, it happens.
So, the two teams recently met up. During the first half (when it was still scoreless), the coach got upset about the officiating and started barking at the ref. Said official decided he wasn't getting paid enough to listen him and immediately told him to shut his piehole (I'm paraphrasing). The coach didn't and kept barking.

"Go sit down." (the coach had a little sideline chair set up).

"I don't want to sit down."

"Go sit down. I'm not going to listen to you."

"I DON't WANT to sit down." (His tone is sounding more and more like a petulant child)

"If you don't sit down, you're going to spend the rest of the game in the parking lot."

"I DON'T WANT TO SIT DOWN!!" (And then he stomps off to his chair and throws his ass in it ceremoniously.)

The coach spent the rest of the game with his ass parked and it greatly improved the sideline character.
The sad thing is that his team played hard, but the focus wasn't on them - it was on their coach and his antics. Too sad...

Filler

I'm so disappointed. I went to a tournament last weekend and the parents (at least the ones I was near) all behaved themselves.

So, to fill in the gaps, Here are a few items from the National Assocation for Youth Sports.
Coaches Brawl at PONY League Baseball Game

Children Cry While Coach Choked

One coach was accused of purposely knocking down a ball that had gone past an infielder.

The team’s coaches were arguing the play when an assistant coach
from the fielding team attempted to separate the two. The assistant
coach apparently bumped shoulders with the opposing coach and uttered
an obscenity; to which that coach responded by spitting gum in his
face.

The assistant coach reacted immediately and began strangling the coach who had spit.

Witnesses confirmed that many of the children were crying while witnessing the violent display.

Gosh. Thanks for filling in while the soccer parents were behaving themselves, fellas.